I know it's a little late but I wanted to post my thoughts on Memorial Day. I guess because it is still on my mind. I have a hard time with Memorial Day, I guess because it feels weird to celebrate missing someone you love, like "Remember that person that we loved that died? Let's roast hot dogs." Maybe I just don't like being told when to think about someone. I remember people I love most at random times when little things remind me of them.
I guess this Memorial Day would be an exception to that though. The week before was the first week I had spent watching Katie's girls. I had been thinking about Ryan all week. Spending so much more time with them made me realize how much he is missing; like when Zaya and Dewy walk up to each other and die laughing for no reason, or when Sage sings the words to Arabian Nights wrong ("where they chop off your ears and they poke out your face"), or when Asha does one of the million crazy things she does everyday. I don't know who I feel worse for Ryan or his girls. I guess the best we can do is remember him and love them.
A few months ago the girls were having a tea party with a few of their friends. I got out the tea set that my mom made me when I was a kid. Seeing the girls with a tiny piece of her made me miss her like crazy. I was sad for my girls not being able to know her or have her in there lives. There is a picture of her in Dewy's room. For a while, every time Tilly saw it she asked, "Is that the grandma that makes me cookies?" It tugged at my heart every time she said it because she never got to make her cookies and know she would have been "the grandma that makes her cookies." I guess it is just one of those things that you can move past but you never really get over.
4 comments:
I LOVED you Mom too. Well everyone did! She was always everyones favorite. I think your kids played with her before being sent to you though ;) And I do beleive that she probably made them lots of cookies. ;) I also have a tea set that your Mom made. I let Gracie play with it on her birthday. Jenny I think you have turned out to be just like your Mother.
that is such a sweet post. you made me cry by the way, but its so great that you are helping your kids get to know your mom in the best way that you can. i still remember little things about her too, random things like walking into your house and seeing her sitting on the couch folding laundry. and how katie hated it when she cut her hair. and i agree with jill, that they got to play with her before they came to you. what a great mom you are!
What a great post. Your thoughts are so true. I always look forward to everyone's Page weekend so we can gather around your mom's grave. It is truly a special time. I have always seen so much of your mother in you. And Cricket looks so much like her-she has your moms nose! I miss my friend and sister!
I was going through some old photos the other day and came across a real funny one of Ryan and Katie--it made me cry. I guess someday, we will understand.
Thank you for your beautiful thoughts. Here my mother is 96 years old and I call her every week. She has always been there and it seems that she always will. She is my ideal, and I know that I am very blessed.
I also relate to your gardening and always love to hear about the children's growth experiences.
I just love you
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